myself...

yesterday and a day before were really my bad days.. Can be said unlucky days.. All bad things happened in 1 shot, car broken down, shedded tears, quarrelling, left car key, nearly accident.. At the very down moment, when i was crying, i sent a sms to kenji.. I just couldn't hold myself from shedding tears.. And i was too fragile, all my toughness went lost.. All my stands went lost.. And i realised also, i wasn't tough, i was pretending tough all the times.. I am.. And i will.. No way out..

I onlined last nite, met lw in msn.. Had a short chat with him.. Hmmm.. He's still as lovely as before.. He always let me think of PILLOW & BLANKET! Sorry, no SEX here.. Just because he let me feel warm.. Whenever he is there, i can always get better.. So lucky to know him, i should say, so lucky to have him as a friend.. He keeps feeling that i'm so pitiful with only myself here in sitiawan.. Totally no friends at that moment.. So touching.. I expected this when i started to carry on my life with this path.. No u-turn or reverse.. Just way straight.. So i must keep pretending tough..

加油！keewang，你一定可以的！
加油！烈伟，谢谢你！你一定要陪在我身边，做为我的好朋友！