meeting...!!??

i went to meet for someone, someone who is very importnant in my life... but due to timing problem, we could only meet for 12 hours and 25 minutes... so sad...

anger...

don't know why, suddenly i feel so angry!! i don't know what am i angry at, but for sure i am not angry at my dear BB (LG)!!

sadness...

frens are moving out from sunway, now sunway UNITE no longer exist... so sad... no more laughters in sunway pyramid... bad feeling... this feeling drags my happiness down! last night i went to my doc, he told me that my blood pressure return back to normal level! but now i've got no mood... sad...

mixed feelings...

... sad + angry + jealous + envy + hatred + love + confused + numb ...

... sad ...
is because my dearest 1 kept something from me...

... angry ...
is because my dearest 1 hid something from me...

... jealous ...
is because i am not the only one in my dearest 1's heart...

... envy ...
is because i thought i am the most important 1 for my dearest...

... hatred ...
is because i hate the "someone" in my dearest 1's heart...

... love ...
is because i love my dearest 1...

... confused ...
is because in my dearest 1's heart, i am not the only one...

... numb ...
is because i feel no hunger...

my promise to you...

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!! I HOPE YOU CAN BEAR THIS IN YOUR MIND...

sadness...

i thought we really have no secret in between us... sigh... now i feel so bad and sad... why would ths happen? i wish i could turn back the time and take back all the questions i asked. now, i feel so chaos... am i really the one you love? i am doubting... though deep down inside my heart i know that you really love, i can't stop myself from comparing me to "someone". i know i shouldn't compare myself to "someone", but i really hope that i am your only one...

now, i also don't know what to say or what to do... i spent whole morning doing nothing, just sit right infront of computer and updating my blog... this is the only place i feel free to write whatever i wanna write... before this morning, you were my best audience, but now, i also doubt...

i am so sorry for being too sensitive all the time, but do you know that when you told me that you had sprained your leg, how worry was i? guess you will never know... you always tell me that you are tired, you are sleepy, my heart is so painful. but do you ever know that, i really hope that i can be there and schedule your time for you? everytime i get angry easily when you told me how late you slept, or how busy you are, do you know why? gues none will know. i feel like my care to you is more than you can afford, and it's becoming burden to you... i love you, i don't want you to go on your life with this heavy burden. i really don't want!! i am so sorry...

i am thinking, if without me, your life might be more colorful, cos i always stop you from doing this and doing that... i am so selfish... but believe me, i really love you, and i only want the best for you... but i scared my care will be too much for you... i am sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... I LOVE YOU!!

honestly, i had few relationship before, but i never took it seriously, because i don't believe that unselfish love would exist... and i don't really trust in any relationships... but now i am totally different. because i had met you... my life has changed, i am now very serious in our relationship... if you wanna go for a better man, i won't and can't stop you, because, i want only the best for you... really...

lazy...

hmmmm... lately i am so lazy, not meaning lazy to work, just that i find it's quite hard for me to concentrate... i always fall asleeped when i am sms~ing with my dearest 1... i always lose my concentrate whole talking to frens...

i don't really know what is happening... but one thing for sure, i had made my dearest 1 sad for my sleepiness... so bad... i am sorry... really sorry... i love my BB... cute BB... understanding BB... nice BB... caring BB... tak malu de BB... kind BB... helpful BB...